There has been a death of someone close in the family recently and just as the subject of death is taboo and no one likes to talk about it, I felt it is timely that this subject is brought out in the open.
Death is inevitable no matter what your faith is or even if you are an agnostic or atheist. The difference is what they do to your body after you are gone. Isn’t that interesting at that point you are not even in control of what others do to your body. Notice I use the word “your body” not “you” as you are no longer that “you” that thinking mind that expresses itself if it disagrees or doesn’t like something. “You” cannot do anything but with limited dissipating consciousness you are aware, just aware of what is going on.
When your friends pay their respect they no longer ask where is “so and so” they ask “where is the body”. From a person who has a name, status, rank, you are reduced to “the body”. The ones you leave behind either grieve, rejoice or are indifferent, depending on who they are to you. I also noticed that since the death was expected, due to prolonged illness, the grieving was not so intense as compared to when the death is sudden. Probably there was enough time to say the goodbyes.
What are we grieving – the lost or the idea that we no longer can see the departed or just emotions that we cannot control. Yet we are told not to grieve as grieving holds back the departed from moving on. Whether you believe in one life or many lives that we take on this earth this fact is shared by all faiths that I know of. There is a seven day window during which the departed goes wandering as it does not know that is has “died”. Therefore grieving only holds back the departed from moving on to the other side. Intense grieving or attachment to the departed, prolongs the window from seven to fourteen to twenty one and after that it is very difficult for the “soul” to move on. Notice I use the word “soul” for that entity is eternal and moves on either ready for rebirth or goes to heaven or suffer in hell (this is dependent on your belief).
No one knows and no one will tell but let me say this, you are entitled to your own belief and belief in what makes you happy and take it with you when you leave this world. That is the only comfort we have. If we have a faith, hang on to it for that is the only salvation we have for at that end point no one can help us. Just know that there is something or someone more supreme than you or I or for that matter anything in the entire universe. Some call him God, Lord, Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Siva or just “The Creator”.
As I was requested to say a few words and since I was addressing a crowd which comprises of various faith I started by saying:
“Is life the beginning and death the end or death the beginning and life the end”
And I added by saying “depending on your belief and faith you can accept either one”.
Eulogies were then given by several members of the family representing the various generations and I sum up by quoting a beautiful quote by Pramahansa Yogananda
“We came to this world crying while others around us are smiling, when we leave this world we should be smiling while others around us may be crying”
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